No one can go wrong
Can any one go wrong? No one can go wrong. We can choose to suffer more or less. We can choose the long, painful way or the less painful, shorter route to self-awakening. So what if we die trying? We get recycled that’s all. We can choose to come back again and again with or without previous life memories to evolve or regress. Sooner or later, perhaps many more lives later we might wake up and transcend this madness of being in this loop of wanting and desiring for something better only to realize that all this time we already are perfect and there is no more to seek – we are perfect as is because we are life in its many and countless manifestations playing out its expression with itself.
We are not fragmented individuals. We are all one. One whole experiencing itself it many forms.
Unmani http://www.not-knowing.com/ and Adyashanti http://www.adyashanti.org/ are precious teachers to me in deconstructing myself, my thoughts and getting to utterly doubt who I am. For in doubting all my thoughts, ideas and myself I realize that the unknown, ever fresh consciousness of this moment to moment awareness is what is that I am … always been, still is and always will be the changeless background behind the ever changing concepts, doctrines, ideas and beliefs/philosophies.
I never thought that doubts can be my friend. I have always pushed doubts away coming from a Christian background. These days thanks so much to Unmani, doubts are simply thoughts that come and go like any other. All ideas and philosophies come and go – understanding never lasts. The one thing that never changes is non-understanding. We can never understand fully and non-understanding is what produces understanding in time and even that understanding changes and is not permanent. Get comfortable with that non-understanding.
Besides, upon understanding a concept, it now becomes delineated and restricted or defined by our perception and is now very much limited. Whereas non-understanding or the unknown and the unknowable are limitless and infinite. I would rather stay and rest in that infinite, all pervading unknown and unknowable. That emptiness, that formless, that all intelligent awareness that like it or not has been running this universe, still is and will do so unconditionally whether we like it or not.
We are all a bundle of unreliable memories that changes with our moods and experiences. Even experiences are not reliable as they are described they become 2nd or 3rd hand … etc and distortion creeps in. Just like thoughts and self-dialog/self-analysation.
I trust my deep sleep every night to rejuvenate me even though I can’t remember what happens so why can’t I simply let go and trust this universal intelligence to guide and give me what I need moment to moment from every present time to the next? This is the door to exercising my intuition and spontaneous living.
I surrender, I trust and let go. I release, allow, accept and embrace what is. Thinking is left alone – not fueling my thoughts or my mind anymore by disengaging it when not needed for practical purposes. I simply be and live in presence and awareness. In this state, bliss, equanimity and serenity is experienced as an ever new, ever fresh delight moment to moment.
Thinking has become my slave and does my bidding – not the other way around. I used my mind only when needed. When not needed, I rest in the gap between my thoughts for as long as necessary to rejuvenate and in meditative state.
In “ A recipe for bliss”, Carl Schmidt talks about Kriya Yoga of how the formless materialize into form and back again into the formless. This state can be experience while we are in this body form with proper training and understanding.
I love it when Unmani talks about “who cares?” … a bit like me when I get all flustered and couldn’t be bothered any more. But honestly … who cares? And why be bothered? After all it is inner bliss and joy we are after and all the knowledge are not going to help us attain that – rather a relinquishing of all knowledge instead. Without any “knowledge” or ideas, we are free to explore life in its pure form right now in alert awareness and life can once again become a play, complete freedom from self. No point of reference – utter freedom from self – only presence in wholeness. I am now not only myself, I am you, the scenery, the bigger picture – the all encompassing, inclusive all in its many countless expressions. I no longer identity with my body, mind or spirit – in fact it just is and there is no identity of sorts.
Freedom. Complete liberation. We have brought it upon ourselves – this illusion and now we can undo this illusion and “unlearn” it all.
And if it all sounds too abstract and too airy fairy – well, drop it and find the rest, the calm energy that resonates with you. Leave the words, leave the language, leave logic as they change or they restrict us. Leave all restrictions and be boundaryless. Be without boundaries, without limits, labels or definitions. Be the spirit or formless awareness that you are.
Sink down to the bottom of your ocean and realize that you are not the waves, you are not the weather or the storm. You are the stillness that never change regardless of weather, surface etc … By realizing what you are not, you realize that you are all – you are the whole of existence itself – friendly and safe – regardless of what happens. Never born, never died.
Rest. We are all in safe hands whether we choose to struggle or not.